Hi. I’m Koochi. Freaky weird name, isn’t it? Oh, well all I can say is I didn’t pick this one out for myself. Now please don’t care to pity me or anything. Puh-leez. Lots of people, creatures, thingies have weird names, don’t they? And anyway if it was upto me to name myself, well I surely would have gone for something way cooler than this ‘Koochi’. Like Harry Potter or or Edward Cullen or Luke Brandon or Bond-James Bond! Ha! Huh, honestly what was she thinking? Koochi! It’s like some stupid insect’s name, one of those tiny, creepy kinds that gets into your nose or ear or something if it gets the chance. Ugh! Oh, well. Okay, first of all let me get a few things straight here, before I get on with my story. For one, (the easiest one to tell you) I’ll be your narrator for this book (huh, stop reading right this instant if you’ve got a problem with that). Secondly, let me tell you once and for all (then don’t say I didn’t warn you beforehand) – I am not a vampire (you know, those freakishly pale blood sucking creatures that look like humans, but aren’t. Yeah, right.
But I’m a bit confused here. According to some books they’re called the Undead [ha!], but DIE [are burnt or explode or go poof!] when [if] they come in contact with direct sunlight! I mean, common what exactly is the point of being immortal when all someone has to do to kill them is push them out in the sun. Pathetic! And listen to this.
Some other books say that these Vampys
aren’t hurt by the sun. Instead – they SPARKLE! Now, how weird is that! Anyway, this one atleast seems a digestible enough excuse for those people [shall I actually call them that?] to only come out at night. Oh, anyway.
Teddy bears don’t talk back when you whisper something in their ear, you know. And as a general rule, I hadn’t spoken a word since I first got into this fluffy toy of a body. You see, I wasn’t always a teddy bear. There was a time, long long ago when I was a human myself. A dashing, handsome prince of twenty five (or maybe it was twenty three. I don’t remember.). Not a single princess I met could resist swooning over my gray-blue eyes. But I had a kingdom to take care of, no, a hundred kingdoms. So, naturally I was too busy to take notice of Cinderella or that Sleeping Beauty princess or that Mermaid who used to stare at me drooling, as if I were made of chocolate… Manners girls, manners. And then one day my wicked third cousin, twice removed, took me to a cliff just beyond my castle near the forest, on the pretext of showing me something ‘to die for’ there. I went with him unaware of what was waiting for me there.
It was Pedusa, my wicked cousin’s wicked mother, my wicked auntie. Or was that Medusa? Never mind. So, when my cousin and I reached there, near the edge of the cliff, Pedusa/Medusa showered me with some shiny black magical dust, hereby putting a curse on me and then my wicked cousin pushed me over the cliff, while I was trying to rub some of that foul smelling curse-dust from my eyes. And that’s how I died and my spirit got trapped in this merciless world for the rest of eternity. After many years of boring floating on and on around the world, I decided to settle down into a body. While I was just experimenting, wondering how it would feel if I were that fluffy toy on display in the window of the shop in front of me (I was curious, you see),
suddenly I was surrounded by a thick cloud of glittering mist. The next thing I knew, I was being squeezed into that teddy bear I was eyeing curiously a moment ago. And since then, I haven’t been able to get out of this furry body if mine. Okay okay! I lied. I wasn’t some dashing prince with a hundred kingdoms. To tell you the truth, I don’t remember who I was before this. I was definitely human, that much I’m sure of. But I haven’t got a clue about anything else from my non-furry past. Anyway, you have to admit I’m good at telling stories. You did believe me when I told you about my wicked third cousin, twice removed and my wicked auntie and her curse-dust damning my spirit to roam around the earth for all eternity. Hee hee!